The Kuot-Kuot Gang (or why I need a car, a lot of money, or a taser gun.)

If I’ve got lots of time (which is rare, since I take forever to change), I try to save on taxi fare by riding on jeepneys. My daily route for work is this:

From home, I ride a 07B (Banawa – Colon) and stop at Bo’s, near Cebu Doc. I cross the street and take a 14D for Ayala. From Ayala, I take a 62B for Banilad, where my new office is.

For a month now, nothing exceptional has happened except for this one time that I saw a woman using her laptop/notebook on a jeepney. I wanted to grab her laptop and smack her face with it. If the bitch wanted to get stabbed by a snatcher, she better do it in another f*cking jeepney. Other than that, my mornings were uneventful.

But last week, the 62B jeepney I was riding on was graced by the presence of the dreaded Kuot-Kuot gang. Their MO was simple. Use their huge bags as cover as their hands expertly rid you off your cellphone, wallet, or cash. The day before that, my boy and I were on our way to SM and a lady lost her wallet. She didn’t notice a single thing, and the Kuot-Kuoter even had the decency (or gall) to close her bag’s zipper. That’s how good they are.

So, back to my story. At first, I was blissfully unaware of the gang’s presence. I was listening to my music player while casually maintaining a conversation with an officemate. Then, a scuffle erupted at the far end of the jeepney. I saw a man knock a studen’t head with his fist, hard. It was only after two men with big bags disembarked that we found out that they were trying to the nursing student’s phone. Fortunately, they were unsuccessful. However, the incident left me scared as hell.

This morning, I saw the same men inside the jeepney. Fortunately, I was seated near the driver and was too far from them. I wanted to tell the other passengers about the danger. But after a few minutes, the men got off, apparently because the people inside the jeepney also noticed them.

My advice to others who read this is to be vigilant. The gang isn’t difficult to spot. They carry huge (but light or empty looking) bags. That’s the first give-away. They may look clean and decent, but don’t be fooled. Don’t sit near the exit, since they’re partial to that (I think so they can escape easier, or whatev). Make sure your valuables are hidden deep inside your bags. Don’t put them in your pockets.

As for me, I am more paranoid than ever. I have no idea what to do, aside from taking taxis all the time. Or maybe I should bike to work. God knows I need the exercise. Or maybe I should enroll in Judo class. I dunno. If anyone out there who is uber rich and has a car he wants to get rid of, you know, I’m just a message away. No, seriously, be careful you guys.